6:40 p.m. | 2001-10-01


So I didn't give you the whole story.

I went to this wedding on Saturday, to witness two of my dearest friends take their long-overdue nuptials.

But instead of it being the celebration I wanted it to be, it was just a little bit less.

Suddenly all of my college friends seemed old. The guy sitting to my left in Chruch had run 65 floors and then many blocks from 1 WTC as it collapsed. He doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

Four friends missed the reception because they came straight from memorials.

A friend sat in the last pew, alone, because his girlfriend didn't get out of 1 WTC.

The groom had escaped from WTC 7.

And the list goes on. We drank and we stood and smoked and we talked about the one of us who should have been there, but didn't make it out.

Around 11PM, I had to get out of there. More than anything, I just wanted to be in my own bed. The friend missing his girlfriend found me in a corner calling a taxi and asked me if I was okay. "You look like you've been crying," he said quietly. Are you okay?

"Yes," I said and I smiled and I tried to smile really big because I know he's hurting more than me. "I just need to go..."

"Are you sure you're okay," he asked. "Yes." I reassured him,"it's just...it's just...been a long 18 days...and I...just need to go home now and face this." "I think you should stay with all of us, here," he said. But I firmly declined and I ran out to a taxi after saying my goodbyes.

And then I arrived at the train station, early. Around 11:30PM. The platform was deserted, except, when I stepped onto it and looked down, I saw a young, white male bend down and pull out a newspaper as he watched something in the parking lot. He walked down the far steps and disappeared into the darkness.

Seconds later I heard a woman screaming. I ran, in brand new slingbacks and formal wear, the length of the platform to where the man had been, as she screamed twice more.

I felt like I was screaming inside trying to reach her as I ran. I reached the stairwell that he had walked down on and looked at what he must have looked at, overground brush and beyond that, a clear view to a deserted parking lot with a few cars in it.

I screamed back. "I can hear you! Are you okay? Say something! I heard you! I heard you, are you OKAY????"

Nothing. I screamed again, "I'm calling the police and they are on the way," and I did.

As I was dialing, two cars peeled out of the far corner of the lot, all I could see were their breaklights.

I spoke with the police and told them everything I had heard and explained, these weren't screams of kids driving by or an animal. It was a woman, and she was screaming because she was scared shitless.

As soon as I hung up a cop pulled up and I told him again what I heard. I could see several cruisers pulling up to the brush.

And then I realized that I was waiting out in the cold and had forgotten my wrap at the country club.

I called the cab. He pulled up with 13 minutes until my train was to arrive, the last of the evening. I played the risk.

I ran into the club and nearly knocked over the groom's mother. Whoops.

At this point, I was pretty much devoid of my senses. All I could hear was that girl and I wanted to get the fuck out of dodge. I've heard screams like that before. I know the kinds of gutteral sounds a girl in trouble can make. It was just a few towns over from where I was that I made sounds like that.

And so, I guess all of this contributed to my Sunday of unrest in my room with the shades pulled. Thinking about friends gone and the girl I never knew but tried to help.

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