Sitting here in pain with frogs, we've decided to share some highlights of last night:

- Hickey War. Frogs and I now have Christmas hickey's and hers is not from the same guy she slept with last night.

- The 11 hour drinking bender. We left my apartment around 1PM yesterday. We walked and shopped all day and then ate an early dinner. On our way home we stopped for "1 drink." I arrived home at 7:30AM, Frogs showed up around 10:30AM.

- Police Cones. I brought one to the impromptu late-night we held at A.'s last night.

- Pants. That what I was wearing all day, unshowered, and what I wore until 7:30AM this morning.

- IRA Freaks. That would be the group of lunatic Irish men at the Pub we were at, who decided that I should go with them to dance at SPA, in my pants and sneakers, unshowered.

- "I look like ass. Trust me, I know this," my direct response to said militants as they tried to lay some line on me, including, my favorite, "Look, I brought this tape for us to listen to when we go back to your apartment." What the...who said *I'm* even going back to my apartment?

- Triathlete? No shit. That would be the marathon sex fiend that Frogs went home with...

- "I smell cock in your mouth!!!" A. sniffing out Gingi who mysteriously went to a deli for smokes and returned over an hour later with naked mouth.

- Two tequila gimlets. That's what I hit per A.'s insistence after the red wine, the cider with Guiness tops and 3 shots of Southern Comfort.

- "I may never get into a relationship again." A., upon learning that Sprint PCS offers free concierge service for users and made his dinner reservations for him, including offering to arrange car service.

- 6 broken glasses, a precariously swinging table and a toppled stool. That's the damage I was able to wreak as my head crashed into the table while I tried to grapple my way out of a hickey headlock after last call at the bar.

- 15 ways to wear the Magic Scarf. The booklet said 12, but my roommate and I found 15 ways, last night, with me taking off my shirt and wearing it as a tube top (I slept in the Magic Scarf tube top) and she took off everything but bra and underwear and wore it as a dress. At 5AM. As joints were rolled. A. gave us the Magic scarves for Christmas. Little did he know...

- No Voce. Again, no voice.

- Parents. Mine were supposed to be here around noon today, so I was up and packed, showered and dressed waiting for them. They finally showed up at 3:00PM.

- 11:40AM. That's when I pushed frogs out of the bathroom so I could puke.

- Morning Sex. If I have to hear another word about sex, we may have our first day of holiday domestic violence. Nobody's allowed to talk about sex unless I'm having it.

- Gifts. There are two left I need to buy. FUCK!!!!!!.

- "Your cousin the Whore." That is how A. has vowed to address Frogs from this day forward. He announced that he will no longer use her given name when speaking to her or about her.

There's more, but my egg sammy's here so I have to go.

previous next