Men. Men in NYC are pigs. I hate generalize like that, but it's a must. I mean, many of them are my friends, but I sure wouldn't want anyone I know to date them.
Tonight, A. begged me to go out with him and 2 of his boyz. Three traders, sitting in a bar - there should be a punchline here. I wish it were a joke.
Anyway, they were mostly well behaved except when they got on the topic of slagging A. about former GF's. In their defense, his GF's *are* always psychotics. One of the guys said if you combined them all you could make one undefeatable pyschotic machine. He's right. But you should hear them talk about them.
Take Beth for an example. Apparently she was a psychotic. Which one was she, they ask. A. says, the one with the short hair. One of the guys says, "Oh the one that was filthy in bed?" "Yes," A. nods. I roll my eyes and look away. "Well, why didn't you say so! Just say filthy in bed with her name so we know." A. got rid of her because apparently when he was sleeping after sex one night, he heard her come back from the bathroom and when she got into bed, she said, "Love you." That was it. He laid awake trying to figure out how to sneak out of the apt. for the rest of the night.
One of the guys has a girl who has said outright that she wants to have sex with him, but he will not have sex with her because after 1 date, they fooled around and when he tried to go to sleep, she tried to cuddle. He thinks the immediate cuddle was "too soon" and is a strong indicator that she is going to be "clingy" so he cut her off.
The other guy got a call at work this morning from a girl he hooked up with who happened to have an "appointment" outside of his building today. Admittedly, this is a desparate measure. So he had to tell her that he wasn't interested in a future with her.
"Why would you say that," the others asked. I proposed, "have either of you ever tried being honest?" "Good God, NO" they said. Apparently, A. has his last girl thinking he relocated to LONDON.
Then, they all start talking about breaking up. Apparently, they would like to create a form that they can courier to the other party outlining the break up, basic reasons and some additional boxes to check off like "would like to be friends," " would like to fool around with no ramifications in the future," "no contact whatsoever ever again." This would make it more civilized to them and prevent the psychotics from additional desparate behavior like arguing, drunk dialing, etc.
At this point, I started watching the ESPN screen.
But I began to wonder (this where I get all Carrie Bradshaw on everyone) is it that men are dogs, or that woman want to be shit on?
What drives a woman to overwhelm a man? Beyond that initial attraction, what makes a woman loose her sensibility and throw caution to the wind, when she knows that men traditionally fear committment and intimacy?
Are we all fools for love? Or, have women forgotten, in our race to to become equal in all areas with the opposite sex, how to be courted?
It appears to me, that men are looking for that old-fashioned girl in the new, updated packaging. A girl with some mystery and charm. A companion who doesn't have to fill every moment with senseless chatter. That stuff is for girl talk. Maybe, on a personal level, men are looking for a safe place where they can still be master of their domain.
Maybe in our rush to progress professionally, women have forgotten that sometimes the route to relationship success is as simple as slowing down, taking a backseat and letting someone else do the driving.
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