So it's 3:30AM and where should I start? I should start in bed, but who gives a fuck?

I ran into a recent business consultant today on the street, she was on the phone, and when she saw me she said, "Wait! You! You are a winner, you are a star!" And then something garbled like, "when you understand that, the world is yours." I smiled and waved and hurried on, not understanding the magnitude of the words until much, much later.

I went to happy hour and started out with club soda, as I've been doing for a few weeks. Eventually, I switched to Bloody Mary's. After three or four, I was drunk. I started talking to the owner, who I hadn't seen in years. It was his birthday. Out of the blue, I asked him what he wanted. He asked what I was going to give him. I said anything you want. He said to get laid. I said, that's it? Not 4 girls and 1 asian dominatrix?

I'm not sure of the exact circumstances around this (translation= I don't feel like getting into it now) but somehow, he pressured me into agreeing to sleep with him and set a date.

I hightailed it out of there and have no intention of returning for at least 5 years.

I hate that kind of pressure.

Friend, Gingi and I then ran through the East Village in pouring rain and stopped at San Loco, where we met Dan from Bakersfield, CA. I thought I crushed Dan, until determining that he's never been to a Dead show. Bummer. Major bummer. We loved Dan none the less, Friend sang him a song at the door, and then we left.

A pirate, and I do mean a pirate, then escorted us to our final destination. It was a homeless man with a broken umbrella in a full pirate suit. Because of the get-up, I gave him a 5-er and friend gave him 3 bucks. He tried to give us his broken umbrella but we refused;he was, after all wearing a full pirate suit. Where he got it- I had no idea and frankly, I didn't care, it was so genius to see a homeless man with such sartorical wit. I told him, "you, my friend are going places because you have character, IN character."

I think I loved that man.

Inside, we hung with Friend's fiance, who is yet another fav. How great is he? You don't know, because you don't know him.

Who cares anyway. All you need to know is that he won't put friend and I in his band, so we are forming our own band. He offered to let us open for them but I said fuck that. We are headliners. Period.

The band will be called "Grass" for obvious reasons and while they try to sell out Arlene's, Friend and I will be on TRL going platinum and booked at Giants stadium.

Laugh all you want, I said to the indie rock boys, because I will be singing to DAT with Carson Daly in the front row as you wade through the clutter at South By Southwest. You know the music and I know the business and business always wins.

Even though no one wants it to be true, me included.

Partygirl, drunk and too lazy to write something worth reading

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