There's a whole lotta people involved in my life. I love these people, but they do a lot of crazy and unhelpful things in the process of what they call "trying to help me."

Thursday night I went to the 30th Birthday party for my best guy friend, A. It was like a college reunion, with all of our guys married and showing up without their wives, because they married girls who are no fun in what I suspect was an effort to stabilize their chaotic lives. They saw they were crazy and reckless running around and after us girls, so they focused on the exact opposite, and declared 'till death to us part. Fair enough.

Somehow, within this crowd, a dashing and overzealous stranger decides to focus on me. He was one of those intense guys, one who stares and has lines and all of that. More than that, he was totally inappropriate in my book, telling me right off, that I have "great eyes and great tits." Charming. As I tried to worm away, he kept trying to guess my age.

"24."

"No."

"25?" No.

"26?" No

"27??" No

"Older or younger?"

"Older."

"Older?!?"

"Older."

"28?!?"

"29."

I love his bewilderment and think finally, this age thing is useful - it weeds out the investment banker jackasses looking for young and stupid. He looks at me in disbelief and says, "You'd better use those tits because they are going to start sagging soon."

I think I was speechless. I could not BELIEVE this jerk in A/X just said this to me. I boxed him out and tried talking to my roommate but he kept butting in, asking if I was at the bar with someone, if I had a boyfriend, etc. I lied and said yes, and my ROOMMATE, says, "No she isn't here with someone and she doesn't have a boyfriend, she's lying because it's a defense mechanism." I protested and she said to me in front of this lunatic, "It *is* a defense mechanism. She can't take a compliment. She's available."

He became really aggressive and I started hiding behind people to get away as he would tap on them, "Hey, can I talk to your friend?" all thanks to my roommate who sold me up to a river to a guy who told me that I should start using my tits before they start sagging.

Personally, I think he wanted to chop them off and wear them as a girl suit and if this had happened, we would have my roommate to blame. I want to this to stand for the record.

Cut to Sunday night. I am having a pefectly good time at a BBQ at my friend's house, when Frogs brings up to my friend the fact that neither me, Toasttress, my brother nor the groomsmen have bought them a wedding gift yet. They were married June 30th. We've all discussed the gift and I am going to purchase it this week. But Frogs, thinks that on this girl's birthday, at a BBQ at her house, this is a great time to let the bride know that we know we haven't given a gift but we have something picked out.

The bride then gets fired up, because she's had a great deal of wine, over the fact that none of us have bought gifts, and gets into it.

I left the area and went to another room.

Later that night. The bride is now really drunk. She mistakes Mr. Destiny, who is back in my life, with a girlfriend. Since nothing ever happened with this, I think the story is funny now and remind the bride of how I met him - she was there that night. Drunk, she looks at me and she says, "That was a really good night for you." I tried to quickly speak about something else and he walked away, but when he was right behind her, she says to me, loudly, "what's going on with you two?"

"Nothing," I quickly replied, fearing he might think that I am perpetuating some crush on him, and she follows that up with, "well, he obviously likes you. Why else would he keep in touch and show up here tonight."

Right about then, I saw him sneak out the back door - before he could overhear me explain that he has a great girlfriend and that I am not interested.

My life is filled with friends who say inappropriate things in an effort to help but who inevitably end up bringing drama and discord to my life.

I wouldn't trade a one of them, but I do hold onto a hope, that they could all be a bit more British some day and develop some sense of decorum.

*sigh* A girl can dream.

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