Tonight was like, 25 nights rolled into one. I am still reeling from it.

I was having some good alone time and then some friends from the shore called in and said they were in town and I mentioned I was home alone and the next thing I knew I had invited them to stay at my apartment.

And that's cool, because they are cool, but the next thing I knew I had them here with my new best friend from work and we are all in my apt, smoking and drinking.

Then I took them to gingi's boy's party and my people were too highed up and couldn't deal.

The next thing I know, we are back on the streets and they want me to pull another coolass Bar out of my pocket. I did that and it was cool.

My work friend and I met at least 5 cool guys at that bar and I gave my number to one. He has a GF but she sucks. Who am I kidding? I would never start up with a guy with a gf? Why? Because once a cheatah, always a cheatah. I don't fool around with cheatah's. I don't give cheatah's the time of day.

And then there was this other bar. I ran into my friend A and his ex-GF. And I completely freaked the fuck out. Not the ways that psycho girls freak the fuck out, in a completely different way. I removed myself completey and ignored. Ignore, ignore, ignore. I am a professional ignorer. You can scream in my face I just don't hear you. I won't even blink. So that's what I did, until he begged me to acknowledge her. To let her in. Actually, I was dancing with someone and he said, completely screaming, "If you love me Partygirl, if you ever loved me, if I ever meant anything at all to you, you would be nice to her right now. You would acknowledge her presence. You would feel love for me and you would do this, for that, for me. I am asking you to fake it. Fake it for me."

And I fucking did it. Which is bullshit. But I am a sucker for love even though I think that girl is shit. I am a sucker for love. And I completely doubt my capacity to have/experience/know/recognize/embrace love, but I am not disconnected enough to risk ruining others for it.

So drinks kept coming and coming. He asked me twice more to be phoney and I fucking did it, like a whore, I prostituted myself. I pretended to like her and agree with her and I made her feel like she belonged. I hated myself doing it. I hated feeling my eyes crinkled at her in a faux smile.

After I did this for about 30 minutes, I snuck away for a few minutes to go to the ladies room, I saw them grazing faces and dancing and I thought, how fucking pathetic is it that you needed me to get you off? How sad are you that you need to hold me as a wedge between you and battle with me and tool with me in order to stir up feeling?

I got this shitty taste in my mouth after that and steered my attention elsewhere. I sent my other friend over to this hot guy with 2 shots of chilled soco and lime. I told her to drop one shot on the table in front of the guy, hold the other, lift it up in silent toast, then slam it back, throw her empty glass on the table, smile and walk away. The guys I was with were screaming at the scenario. She did it, walked over, looked at me and I yelled, "throw it!" She threw it back. I yelled "drop it," and she dropped the glass on the table. I yelled walk away to her back, and with that and the table next to them staring at me, I picked up my glass, a few yards away, and I also walked away from the scene of the crime.

I'm not clock blocker and my girl had some moves. Word.

And then there was a diner and standing outside for cigarettes and then drinks in my apartment and now it's just shy of 7AM. Word. I gotta jet.

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