Where to begin. There's so much pressure behind updating this page. It's rich with history - my history, my story - and had a loyal following of readers. And then I left you. I've been gone for a really long time, writing somewhere on else.

When I left, I was struggling with the idea of growing up and leaving this partygirl persona behind. I wasn't 23 anymore. I wasn't even in my 20's any longer.

And then there was September 11. I documented my life during that time here, it was just about all I had to maintain my sanity since I never was a good communicator.

I don't regret what I did, ending this journal. It overwhelmed me. There were so many readers. That was before everyone had a blog. Before blog's were generating book deals and here I was getting hundreds of hits a day and the mail...my God, the mail that would come...it blew my mind. I just didn't understand what was going on. Like I said, it was a different time. Media - brick and mortar media - would contact me and ask to include pieces of my writing in their stories and after that it just became too much.

So I shut it down.

I come back every so often to reread it. It's a huge documentation of my life, how can you not?

I've been coming back more and more recently. Not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm really unhappy with my job, maybe it's because I like to reassure myself that this partygirl existed, maybe it's because I've started to understand that I never stopped being a partygirl - I just went into hiding.

Maybe it's because I watch Kristin and LC from Laguna Beach and I think, you may be cute, but you're no Partygirl's.

The new generation doesn't have sh*t on my crazy times. And those times are still rolling.

So maybe I'll throw some of that up here now and again.

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