19:26:50 | 2000-10-31


I was all fired up this morning about oversensitivity and was planning on ranting about that today, when I read this and felt like a big jerk.

But I thought about my friend Gingi and her tale of her body issues and I decided that our friend is only telling her side of the story.

From reading that, you would think that she is Medusa. When in reality, she is a breathtaking red-headed beauty that upon meeting her favorite author, Tom Robbins, he expressed his delight in her beauty. Thousands of people gathered in a room to capture a word they could savor as their own from this world famous author, but he told our friend Gingi that he has a penchant for red-heads.

Gingi has been stopped in train stations by complete strangers and complimented on her remarkable hair. Hair colorists eye her with envy. And as one who has walked behind her, this Partygirl has observed the lustful eyes of passersby.

Among our mutual friends and married couples I often hear about how they think Gingi is so sexy�that she exudes sex�and frankly, this idiotic Partygirl who thinks stealing traffic cones is an aphrodiasiac, watches closely to pick up tips;-)

Because I may be the crazy Partygirl, but that Gingi, well, SHE�s someone to write home about.

*~*

But back to what I was thinking about this morning: Hypersensitivity surrounding labels like white, black, jew, gay, bitch, ho, chink, faggot�whatever. I work with a lot of ethnicities; this is New York, so you have to expect that. Most of my friends of are gay. In my life I�ve been discriminated against for being a girl, young, white, German, affluent, middle class, blonde, fag hag�you name it.

And here�s what I�ve learned. Getting angry over ignorant comments ain�t worth your time. At this age, I no longer understand why people allow themselves to get all worked up over the ignorance of others. Turn your cheek, man. TURN IT.

It makes me think of that Chris Rock song, �No Sex in the Champagne Room.� He has a line in there that�s something like, �When a brother steps on your foot in the movie theater, LET IT Gooooooo.� That�s so right on.

In NYC, with so many ethnicities living right on top of each other, every day you walk outside of your apartment it�s like a forced confrontation. People need to learn to RELAX. Guess what? Getting worked up doesn�t always help further your cause. Be PROACTIVE NOT REACTIVE.

This is what I teach employees that work for me. Don�t allow anger and passion stop you from getting ahead. I watch these young girls get all caught up in watching for racial slurs and sexual harassment that they aren�t focused on getting ahead and being happy. Nor do they realize that they have been inappropriate in other other aspects.

Let me tell you a little secret: sometimes people make comments and don�t realize they are hurtful. It�s one of the great faults of language. Words or phrases mean one thing to someone and another to someone else. People with hypersensitivity allow themselves to react instead of being proactive and this bums me out.

I have worked with some of the great civil rights leaders in this world. I have worked to establish a code of human rights spanning country lines and continents. I have read about and seen photos of injustices that are beyond words to witness, let alone experience. I know there are brutal things happening to people in this world that are unconscionable. But what blows my mind, is having met a young woman whom had her genitals mutilated and having met a POW from Vietnam and seeing these 2 people at peace. These two people were not angry at these injustices committed against them, but passively seeking solutions to the crimes committed against them. I met a Nobel Peace Prize winner who lost his career, the love of his life, and was banned from his homeland and his secondary country for passively fighting for what he he believed in. I read an interview with him and the reporter asked him if he was angry or felt justice came with the Nobel Prize....he said something along the lines, of, "angry? Angry about what? I am only sorry that I couldn't have saved more of the lives that were lost." These amazing people, in their quiet, reserved and intelligent behavior, amaze me. And change the lives of people they meet.

And then you have that punk on the subway, angry at the world, elbowing an old woman just because she�s black or white, and he�s pissed off.

And I just think it�s time, for everyone to RELAX. Because it�s all going to be okay. Sometimes, you have to let the anger go. And keep everything in persepctive.

PS - Speaking of perspective, mine's a little strange right now, as I am sitting here with a red plastic fireman's hat on, eating a caramel apple. I've never had one before! Yum!

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