PARTYGIRL KILLS CUPID!

New York, NY (Diaryland)- In a rash move that stunned a love buzzed nation and sent waves of shock reverberating around the globe, New York City's Partygirl is believed to have struck a blow and killed the internationally beloved icon, Cupid.

Partygirl, 27, was charged with cupidslaughter this afternoon. Cupid's age was unknown.

The charges followed a short chase by the Love Police after they heard from unnamed sources that Partygirl had been seen engaging Cupid in a heated argument regarding his age-old bow-and-arrow technique. Bystanders also claimed Partygirl was enraged by the cupid's "idiotic choice of matches" for her and "moronic timing of relationships" in her life.

Bystanders described seeing a confrontational Partygirl bully cupid into handing over his magical bow-and-arrow and trying to deploy the "loveshot" at the man of her choice. The bartender, Tim O'Malley of County Cork, overheard Partygirl incoherently screaming the name "Benicio del Toro" but claimed he didn't know what that meant at the time as his grammar school only provided Latin and Gaelic classes for students.

"Partygirl wanted Cupid to schedule appointments with her or clear his choices for suitors before he deployed," stated the police report. "She also recommended suitors to Cupid, which was against his policy of matchmaking."

Partygirl is also accused of voluntarily running into cupid's arrow, in an effort to make her own match, when cupid refused to acquiesce to her choice of a suitor.

One potential suitor claims to have been pushed by Partygirl into Cupid, in a desperate attempt to make her own desired match.

A confidante of cupid disclosed that he overheard that Partygirl was jealous of cupid, because of his boyish good looks, naturally flushed cheeks and cute curly-q curls that framed his sweet face.

Friends of the Partygirl deny that allegation as "ridiculosity" saying "cupid was sooooo not her type!" and claim that the cupid dropped the ball with Partygirl. They alledge that he intentionally sent "losers" her way at completely inappropriate times. They equate the legendary figure to a "stalker" saying that he would show up at bars when they were out enjoying themselves and ruin their good time with the Partygirl.

"We would all be drunk and laughing, enjoying each other's company, when suddenly that arrow would strike and Partygirl turned into a different person. It was like Jeykll and Hyde! One minute she was animatedly telling a story, the next moment her gaze was riveted on a stranger across the room, with stars in her eyes."

Friends acknowledge that Partygirl may have acted rashly, but given the circumstances of years of abuse and failed matches, not to mention the offense of a day filled with horrific red carnations and unfashionable sweaters adorned with tacky hearts, both of which Partygirl abhorred, they can understand her rage.

Partygirl's attorney, Perry Mason, released a statement from Partygirl responding to the charges. "For years, cupid has been following me all over the world. He shot me, time and time again with his arrow and immeasureable pain and heartache resulted."

"A girl can only put up with so much abuse. Actions were taken to retribute the millions of men and women around the world who were wronged by cupid, and to avenge the incredible deficit of therapy and analysis bills he has left in his wake."

An autopsy will be performed on cupid later this afternoon, but a source in Quincy's coroner's office disclosed that he believed cupid was killed by his own bow and arrow. The anonymous source also believes that Cupid received numerous blows to the skull and his "uncovered toushe".

Red roses, carnations and chocolates were laid at the doorsteps of Hallmark stores across the United States as well as novelty and card shops around the globe.

Additionally, Hallmark announced that they will go "black" on February 15th, in observation of their beloved cash cow.