I worked hard this weekend. Really hard. Working hard toward a goal is a great thing because it�s an opportunity to think. It�s also great because there is this sense of achievement when you complete the project.
I�m goal oriented, even though I�d like to think I don�t set goals for myself. It�s not because I like structure, if anything, the way I achieve my goals is totally untraditional and utterly chaotic. I�ll always take the twisting line over the straight one. But the beauty of the goal, is the sense of accomplishment it brings. In the case of this weekend, it was also a sense of fulfillment.
I spent the entire weekend preparing for the surprise baby shower. I really wanted it to be perfect. To be honest, I want everything I do to be perfect. I am a perfectionist. I am crazy. Moving forward�
While I was cleaning out my closets and reorganizing my drawers, packing up clothes for the Salvation Army and tossing about half of the knick knacks I seem to rapidly acquire but have no place for in my apartment, I thought about the different kinds of people there are in the world.
There are people in the world who live their lives in fear. They may not know they are afraid, but their inaction shows me they are afraid. They do what is expected. They hate their lives, working for The Man, but they continue to function within the confines of the 9-5 grind. They facelessly commute to work. They sit at their desks and they shuffle papers and they do not think for 8 hours straight. They face no challenges; they have no faces. They are members of the global economy and they make it spin.
It�s ok to be that person, if it makes you happy. But the ones who kill me are the ones who aren�t happy with their �Everyman contribution� and refuse to do anything about it. They are so afraid of change that they conform. I know a lot of people like this.
You know what? It�s EASY to fall into the 9-5. It�s what�s expected. What�s not easy is finding your passion and getting yourself in there. That�s WORK. That�s a challenge. But the secret is, it�s worth it.
If you have ever packed up and left, and I mean really packed up and LEFT, then you know what I�m talking about. When you find yourself totally alone, with $20 in your pocket and not a place to stay � no roof over your head � in a foreign place, you quickly learn that nothing is as bad as you thought. You learn that you have free will. You learn that you can do anything you set your mind to do. You learn that are in control of your life.
That is one of the greatest lessons I have learned in my life and I learned it at young age, the hard way. I found myself out in the cold, living on the street, and I had to decide whether I was going to give in or make the best of it.
I choose to win.
I was telling Marnie2000 this weekend that every day that I wake up, I think to myself, �I have the power to change my life.� And I do. I have that power inside of me and all of you have it too. What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of packing a change of clothes, leaving behind your worldly possessions, hopping a train or a plane or a bus, and having to rely on yourself to make things happen? Do you think you won�t be able to survive? Do you doubt humanity and their inherent good will? Do you believe the Leviathon is waiting for you?
I came into work this morning and I received an e-mail from a friend of mine who lives a fearless life. She seeks adventure and she is much, much more fearless than me. The e-mail was to her from another fearless friend, from the last part of her trip, which started months ago in Thailand:
The message said this:
�Life in the outback has been incredible. Our 100,000 acre ranch was nestled between two national parks on which there was over 1,000 heads of cattle, sheep, kangaroos, wombats and koalas. We learned all about shearing sheep, herding cows and cooking BIG steaks in the outback. An incredible experience! We are now headed to the coast to see the Great Ocean Road (supposedly comparable to Hawaii's coast) and surf some waves, dude.
So all is well and from the sounds of it you are doing pretty well yourself. Take care and save all your stories to tell me when I come home.�
Fearless. We�re alive for a short time. Use every minute wisely.
*~*
The shower. Thank God for good friends like Gingi and Jen and D. I would never have been able to pull it off. I mean, I can do keggers for kiddies in my sleep. But pulling off something with a touch of class and sophistication takes a little more time.
I started on Friday and nearly worked through Sunday without stopping to take a rest. I pitched a two-story tent over my terrace, with help from Gingi. I helped prepare food. I went to the hardware store and was patient as the male staff looked at me like I was stupid and asked me moronic questions about the size of nails I needed when they knew damn well what nails I needed. I decorated my apartment. I cleaned.
The honoree was surprised and touched. It was so great. She couldn�t believe we had done all of this for her, and she couldn�t believe the beautiful spread we�d put together. We served an authentic soul food bunch, complete with tunes from Coltrane, Holliday, Flack and Angie Stone.
As I sat Indian style on my living room floor, in the center of all of my guests and looked around at these amazing people, I realized why I love throwing parties so much. It�s such a great feeling to have the people that you consider family filling the room with love. I thought the room was going to combust.
Everyone stayed so long, that we ended up having another go-round on the buffet. Later in the evening, when the soon-to-be-parents and a handful of people were left, the mom-to-be looked at the crowd and said, �well, look at this! We have such a diverse group of friends: black, white, latino, Jewish, Christian, Muslim etc. This is what the Reverend King was all about! What a beautiful way to celebrate his birthday.� And then we broke out into the urban version of �Happy Birthday,� which is a big, hand clapping, hip-hip sprinkled celebration.
He had a beautiful dream, the Reverend King. And he was a fearless man. I am happy to be fortunate enough to be a part of making that dream a reality. Because there are many beautiful people sharing and working within that dream.
Dare to dream.
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