I used to run wild as a child. That kind of crushed beer cans in the backseat, laughing over loud music, speeding on wet, black macadam that circled the edge of mountains with a full car, wild. The kind of wild with my hand hanging out the window holding a joint screaming along, like only a white former cheerleader angrily can, to Ghetto Boys rap. That kind of fearless 17-year-old girl whispering to a pack of mostly unsure but game boys, "Come on, and be quiet!" wild as I led them though a dark, forbidden, wooded area to a secret spot I knew deep amid the foliage were we could drink skunked Mickey Wide Mouths and Bud Tall Boys that I had hidden and smoke the White Owl Blunts somebody else was holding. The Goldilocks I'm fucked up and 18 and I think it's funny that I was so fucked up that I stumbled mistakely into a young couple's house, which I thought was my friend's, at sunrise and crashed on their couch for a couple hours to wake up some older hippie guy asking me if I wanted breakfast, wild. The partying all night and then falling asleep on the road two minutes from my house and waking up as I veered off the road, down a grassy sloap, toward a swamp, and laughing, wild.

"...Forgive us our trespasses..."

I don't know why I did it. I'm sorry. I swear I won't do it again. We weren't doing anything but drinking - I swear! Nobody was with me - I was alone. Honest! I don't know who's that is. I don't know where she is. I didn't know she was sleeping over at his house. I didn't know he was doing drugs! I didn't do any, everybody else did. No, I wasn't there. No, it wasn't me, I wasn't there. I was studying. I was with so and so. I had to work late. Ummm, yes, that was the police leading me out of the building, but it wasn't me. It was my friend who did it. I was just straightening it out. We were just having some, good clean fun!!

"...and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from all evil..."

"...here you want some, try it, it's good stuff." "I really shouldn't get high, I have to meet my parents...oh, alright..." "Not tonight, I'm not drinking tonight...ok, one drink and then I'm going home." "Can't tonight, I'm taking it easy...oh, ok, I'll come over and just 'hang out'" "You want me to find out what? Give me 10 minutes." "Come on, just 1 hit and we're out..." "Let's drive all night to Atlantic City" "The bars are closed, let's drive into New York." "Let's get an 8-ball.""We may as well just keep going until morning." "Come away with me. It'll be fun if we go together."

"Turn the other cheek."

I'm done with her. He's cut off. I have too many friends anyway. She sucks. We don't speak. She's a whore. He's expunged. He's an asshole. Fuck them.

"...you shall not worship any other God but me."

I go to the church of Jerry. "She is a demi-goddess." I am a goddess. "I worship him." Oh My God. "I would offer him my first born" He is the anti-Christ; I love him. "You are evil...I love it!" I am riding shotgun on the fast train to hell.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

I'd kill to be her for day." "If were alone with him for 15 minutes..." "When I grow up..." "If I were two inches taller.." "If my eyes were further apart..." "If I were her..." "He needs to be my boyfriend." "He's so annoying." "He bores me..." "There's nothing I can do about it." "Too late now." "I am so @#!% frustrated!" "I hate myself!" "I am so stupid!" "Why did I say that?" "What was I thinking?!?" "I suck." "I am an ASS."

"Ever dance with the Devil in the pale moonlight?"

Ever not? She's one hell of a partner.