19:24:13 | 2000-10-04


TODAY IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF JANIS JOPLIN'S DEATH. A Moment of silence, a full shot of Southern Comfort, "Piece Of My Heart" played on 11, and a good old shriek are in order. A little respect for the greatest rockstar that ever lived please. Shoot it if ya got it;-)

A couple of items today:

1) Please take a moment to read my friend pix and take another minute to sign her guestbook and send your well wishes. As you�ll read, Pix has been having a rough time of it, when really, she�s just trying to do the right thing. I�m feeling it for her.

2) Why can�t I see dead people? Sometimes, late at night, in my bed, when I don�t have my contacts in, I try to convince myself that I can see dead people in my room. But I have to come clean � I really can�t.

3) Why are peanut butter and jelly just so right together?

4) Why can�t I find a job on any of the job sites that fit my qualifications? I mean, I keep hearing how great the job market is, so where are the companies looking for immature girls who like to drink, take drugs, smoke cigarettes, play harmonica and go out?? HELLO � These are skills, people.

5) How much training does it really take to become a NASCAR driver. Because back in the day, I was quite skilled in that Indy 500 video game I played in the arcade, and I think those jumpsuits are SNAZZY, so maybe I could really make it on the driving circuit! God knows I already drive a break neck speeds, and my actions show that I have absolutely no regard for my life; which brings me to�

6) That new daredevil guy who is getting a show on MTV. What�s up with that? I could freakin� do that! I�d like to see the daredevil guy fight with a hungry supermodel or make a childish world-famous fashion designer sit down and finish his collection a day before his show. Then we�ll see how daring he is�

7) I am soooooo excited about the season opener of Dawson�s Creek and Felicity! Woooo wooooo!!!!! (Yes, I am really a 14-year-old girl)

8) When the orange stuff from Cheetos get into a ripped cuticle, it burns like hell.

9) I�ve had to pee for like, oh, I don�t know, maybe four hours now, but I�m too lazy to get up and walk to the bathroom on the other side of the office.

10) There are a lot of Sucka MC�s out there.

11) My friend Marissa thinks she�s going to marry Kid Rock. I had to break it down for her and tell her that she isn�t�BUT I AM!

12) No, I�m not really interested in marrying Kid Rock, BUT, I am a freak on leash. Actually, I am a Freak who needs a leash�can someone call Jonathan Davis and let him know?

13) What is in the dirty file that Christina Aguilera has on Fred Durst? I mean, she�s got to have like, photos of him with little boys or something for him to get on stage with her, right? And I�m not buying that he wants to get in her pants. She�s a piece of ass, but there are a LOT of pieces of ass out there.

14) My boobs are way too big. I think that�s why people talk to me. I decided that this morning when I was walking home from the gym, sweaty and GROSS, and I was adjusting the band on my sportsbra through my t-shirt, when some freaky street cleaner smiled and said �hi.� Clearly, he was speaking to the boob factor.

15)Gregg Allman is HOT. I just like to get that out there whenever I can.

Oh, and I would just like to take a moment for a public service announcement: please rent my favorite movie, Empire Records. I love it so much.

I have to go pee now. Or as my mom would say, �Tinkle.�

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