See which Greek Goddess you are.

I am Athena.

BOW DOWN.

*~*

Everything comes full circle. Today, my friend D. and I decided to go to the upcoming 80's party as the girls from Heathers.

Heathers used to be my favorite movie. In college, the girls on my floor took one look at my high school collage of me with my friends and heard some of the stories and they said, "You were so Heather, Heather." And so "Heathers" it was named, my life before college.

Teenage Suicide. Don't do it.

Tonight we watched Jawbreaker, which is so Heathers and also so Carrie. It's genius.

I watched it in my prom dress, which doesn't zip up (love that), at a friend's place. Long story.

I used to be a cheerleader too. Ahhh, yes.

I was that girl, you know the one at the end of the year whose name they call at an assembly and they have to name every club in the school after her name. Treasurer of the Class. Pep Club. Varsity Tennis. Editor of the school newspaper. Key Club. Who's Who Among America High School Students.

L-A-M-E.

I was also constantly the eye of the storm. Inventing new forms of trouble. Bringing gin in my hairspray bottle for my tonic at lunch everyday. Getting high after school in a park. Jumping on the back of a motorcycle for a ride around the parking lot when school got out. Car surfing in my uniform.

Senior year, a group of loser girls whom I had ignored while hanging out with upper classmen for three years, egged my house. In huge letters on our front lawn they wrote "SLUT" and "WHORE" with shaving cream. That was a bad week. In retaliation, my friends and I spread a rumor about them and most of them ended up going to the prom without dates, but with each other.

The school newspaper staff, secondary friends of mine, jokingly voted me "Most Likely To Be a Bitch." At least I think they were joking.

College was more of the same but tapered off, thankfully, when I found The Dead.

It's weird to think about that girl. I one that I was a lifetime ago.

I was another person too, one no one knew. I was lonely. Lost. Feeling out growing up. Trying to be cool. Finding my way.

I spent community service teaching Sunday school. I volunteered at a Battered Women's Shelter. I tried to help some friends who had gotten mixed up with some bad men and gotten pregnant. And quietly, I poured over college information assessing the best path to get out of there.

I don't speak to anyone from high school. I just...left. Funny how I do that.

I've been thinking about those people from high school a lot today.

High School is rough.

I'm not so cool now. Not so cocky. Just a person trying to make it and stand on her own two feet.

In a week I will be a Heather again. But really, I'm just not a Heather anymore.

Funny how it all comes full circle.