8:39 p.m. | 2009-09-10


Someone left a comment in guestbook a few months ago commenting that I'm more than Sept. 11th and should come back here more frequently. You're right, I *am* more than what happened on that day and I should come back. I'd like to come back, because I did have the time of my life writing this diary. God, I lived the life. At least I knew how lucky I was to have such an amazing life and didn't take it for granted.

I probably won't post other than Sept 11th though, because I love keeping those awesome Partygirl years intact. I don't want to spoil them with who I am now - not a knock on myself, I'm just older and different.

As I knew even when it was happening, time has softened the blow of the terror attacks on Sept 11th for me. I'm less haunted by what happened. Less. Not all.

Leaving NYC was hard, in part because I felt some grief leaving the friends who died there without any confirmations of their deaths. No remains for several of them. This year, I didn't think about that until this week. My name and landline in NYC was the official contact information on several missing person reports we filed and the Medical Examiner's office did call me a for a few years after 2001, checking on information. I forgot to alert them when I disconnected my phone a few years before I left. Since then, the deceased families have filed many other reports with their contact information, but I still get anxious about it. What if. What if they find something and only have those original forms?

Eight years. Can you believe it's been eight years? If you're a reader from way back when, you must be shocked at the time too, right? In a way it feels longer than that because I'm so different, but I can also remember the days after it happened like yesterday.

So yes, commenter, this event definitely is not who I am. Thanks for pointing that out.

My career has bloomed in the last eight years, I've been in love, I've been let down, I've had awesome moments of happiness and celebration, I've had some moments of sadness. I relocated, I got older, I learned new things, I switched jobs, I grew into a new person.

I've been living. :)

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