4:18 p.m. | 2001-10-05


I get a lot of e-mails. A ton. Most of them are from friends who are bored.

Today, as I was responding to e-mails, I suddenly realized a disproportionate number of communications directed at me are about poop.

Poop, Pooping, Pooping their Pants and Gas. These are topics people feel the need to share with me.

Why? I'm open to it, edon't get me wrong. My brother likes to call me after a good poop. He gets really excited.

What exactly, though, is the appropriate response to this news?

Here's an e-mail I just received, "okay, i'll be on my way. call me and let me know where you'll be. a. said something about police searches? i'm leaving work now. pray that i don't poop my pants before i get home."

That's a lot of information. I was talking about this with frogs and she agreed, a lot of people do talk to me about their bathroom issues.

Did I start this? I can't remember. Maybe I did start it because in college, when I waitressed the breakfast shift after a night of paper and booze, I would start to sweat and sprint to the bathroom.

And you know, when you work breakfast, everybody's all up in your grill anyway. They were out with you just a few hours before and you are all in the same sorry shape. They monitor their own health via your reaction to the Spanish omelete you decide to sample.

I feel this could be how it all started.

Yesterday, I heard Steve Zahn on "Rosie" talking about his baby. He said, yeah he's great, having the time of his life, eating and poopin' his pants.

I mean, we all know that I have no shame in my game, but I really cannot believe the number of people who love to talk about poop.

PS - I can't believe I just posted this entry.

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