I've hit an all new low point for poverty. This compounded with Christmas around the corner and me with nere a gift purchased for those in my life who deserve to be lavished with priceless treasures.
I am depressed. I want to buy nice things for people who are important to me in my life, like my family and my roommates and my friends but right now I can't even afford to buy myself lunch. Or dinner for that matter.
I can't even afford a stinking Christmas tree this year and that depresses me more than anything. Buying the tree for our apartment is my *thing*, and each year my roommates don't really want one because we go home for the holidays and the needles make a mess, but I go anyway to barter with the guys on the street for the perfect tree. Each year I seem to *accidentally* come home with a tree larger than the one before and as we decorate it together, I think they are pleased to have it. It makes our apartment cozy. It's just *nice* to sit in the living room and watch TV by the lights of the tree.
But there will be no tree this year because I am ghetto poor and my life sucks.
Today, while I wallowed in self-pity at my desk, I had this IM conversation with Gingi.
gingi: I worked my ass off and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
me: that blows
g.: heh
me: stress is going to kill me
g.: oy
g.: want a squeezy ball?
me: ha!
g.: I have plenty!
me: I bet
g.: I also have long-sleeved t-shirts!
me: wooooooooooo
g.: what more could you want?
me: A bank account with money, a functioning credit card, a Christmas Tree for christ's sake?
me: Job security
me: a boy friend
me: and world peace
me: thanks for asking!
g.: I will get you a Charlie Brown christmas tree.
g.: one done.
me: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
me: YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND EVER!
me: I'M CRYING!
g.: one down, five to go!
me: THAT'S SO NICE!
me: A TREE! A tree for me! A little tree that I can hang lights on
me: and go to sleep next too
me: You're a GEM!
g.: hee
g.: you will have to make an angel for the top, though.
me: I have one from last year!
me: and I have ornaments!
me: I was lamenting to myself this weekend that I can't afford a tree this year
g.: awwwww.
me: which is really just SAD
g.: well, a tree you shall have!
g.: how tall is a small tree?
g.: I know not of these things
me: a Charlie Brown tree!
g.: so, like, tabletop size?
me: doesn't matter! It can be a little tabletop one!
g.: okay
me: woo woo!!!
me: tabletop tree!
g.: you realize the irony of a Jew picking out your German tree
g.: our people -- coming together!
g.: WORLD PEACE!
g.: there you go!
g.: two out of six!
me: woo woo!!!! Two out of six!
me: (this is definitely going into my diary)
g.: okay...now for the rest...
g.: oh!
g.: I DIDN'T TELL YOU!
me: what?!?!
g.: I have to forward you this e-mail.
g. I have INSIDE SCOOP on the Santas!
me: (I am so excited! It's like Christmas today!)
me: NO!
me: My people?
g.: nope!
g.: they're from BROOKLYN, it seems!
g.: MY PEOPLE!!!!!
me: OMG!
g.: we so have to get in on this next year
me: did you notice the link to "santa movies on clown porn" on that site
g.: YES
g.: I'm joining this mailing list
me: that's just WRONG
g.: I feel it will be an onslaught of fun
me: oh yeah
So things are looking up. I was able to purchase that "Classic Jazz" CD for my Dad that he wants for his birthday, which is next week. I also left work today with my job intact, so that's a plus.
I'm really trying to be optimistic here in the face of major opposition in my life, people.
I'm going to quit here while I'm ahead.
previous next