Usually, I select a topic and write from there. Today, I have no topic other than the fact that I want to get something up on this page.

It may become very scattered and involved.

So let's see. I've been listening to a lot of Norah Jones and John Mayer, in that order, who all at once remind me of the young coupling of Carly Simon and James Taylor. Saying the two names together make me think of the two-of-them set in the early seventies, like they stepped out of the Carpenters movie-of-the-week. Their names in my mind evoke images of flouncy dresses with wide multi-colored belts and scrunched-down leather boots, mauve-blushed cheeks and shiny lips with dark-colored eyes framed by long, feathered hair. Polyester paisly shirts with oversize collars and tan sweater vests paired with form fitting, polyester bell bottoms.

Welcome to my mind, we've been waiting for you.

For the first time in weeks, today felt a little better for me. I didn't feel very angry, or frustrated. I approached my work with speed and focus. I laughed at stupidity that made me feel desparate yesterday.

I'm hoping this means that I am falling onto a rode of productivity and focus. I'd like to be back in that place.

The truth is I don't do aimlessness well anymore. It's sad reality. I would like to wander with little to no direction nor desire for a better life like many of my friends. Really, I would. I mean, sign me up for days not working and sitting on the beach.

"Welcome to the real world", she said to me/Condescendingly/Take a seat/Take your life/Plot it out in black and white/Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings/And the drama queens/I'd like to think the best of me/Is still hiding/Up my sleeve"

I need to go to the eye doctor. I am blind, I think. And I need to see a dermatologist about some suspicious spots. And I need to go to the dentist. I think I need root canal. This will be another grand by the time I am done. Sucks.

"I wanna run through the halls of my high school/I wanna scream at the top of my lungs/I just found out there's no such thing as the real world/Just a lie you've got to rise above"

I cannot *wait* for my vacation in two weeks. I am literally living for it. So excited to just relax for a week with no responsibilty and no drama.

It is going to be so great. I am going to wake up late and then sit on the beach all day and read trashy paperback novels. Maybe I'll nap in the late afternoon and play a game of tennis. Ride my bike over to friends houses to chat. Watch movies. Smoke cigarettes. Have a cold beer after a full day at the beach.

It's going to be awesome. I just have get through the next two weeks...

"I am invincible/As long as I'm alive"