It�s official. I�m depressed. I�m not sure if I am depressed, but I am definitely sad. I just feel like life has passed me by. At work, days pass. I do work, people join the company and people go, but I am here, like a painting on the wall. As they pass me, they point at me and tell my story; the storytellers see me as the same old painting and the new people, well, I�m not sure what they see.

I�m not sure I want to know what they see.

I somehow have no money again, rent and bills all hit at the same time and have left me with nothing. It is shameful. Therefore, I go home every night and do nothing. I read and I think about how my life is passing me by. I look out the window at the cars and the people on the streets. I remember what it was like when I used to go out every night, but now, I have neither the money nor the energy, so I just sleep, all night, every night.

I try to think of who I could call to go out anymore, and the list hangs mid-air in front of my eyes, but it�s been so long since I called any of those people, I wonder if they would even make time for me. I think about places to go out, and I draw a blank. It�s like I never even had a life.

I�m sorry, just reading this�it�s a mess, it�s all a mess, I have to go.

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