I wish I could explain this feeling I get sometimes, that overwhelms me with the desire to leave this whole life behind and just take off. To start over.

To break free from my friends and my family and become someone new. Someone completely different, without this past and this identity.

I wonder what it would be like to be someone else. Someone steady. I wonder if I went into a new life, if I would feel like a whole person? Sometimes I feel like half of the whole. But I'm not sure of how to find the whole.

Other times, I feel hopeful knowing that I can change. I can become someone new. We are defined by ourselves; our actions, our participation in the experience. It's up to each individual to define and shape her experience. You only get what you put in, isn't that what they say?

And what have I put in? Not much of any consequence. I haven't put much on the line recently, to expect great rewards.

So that's it. I need to put it out there. I need to assume an active role in my life. It's time to stop watching from the sidelines, find something I want and get it.

Go Birds!

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