This weekend was restless and I was in bed before 11PM every night. It's good to keep busy like that. It's also nice to lay in your bed for 2 days in a row. I could use a few of those days.

Today I pulled myself together for the first time in a few weeks, mentally got myself in line, and put my nose to the grind. It was...liberating.

I'm good at my job. In the going-on-8-years that I've been in this business and in this City, I've met a lot of influential people and that's what business is about. Meeting people, making contacts, listening to them, creating, thinking, strategizing. I do those things well. People like me, probably because I have a friendly manner and I am a straight shooter. My shore friends call me John Wayne because I shoot quick from the mouth and from the hip when I play pool. Fast and hard.

Today I worked and I did really well at it. This month and next are going to be very busy for me, this week especially. I need to be very focused and I did a good job this weekend at putting my personal demons out on the table and getting of rid of them. I feel great.

I have a theory that the two aspects of people's lives: personal and professional, can never excel at the same time. I think medocrity can be achieved in balance for both and I think a lot of people are comfortable enough to accept that. I would like to be one of them. But to be truly excellent in one, the other suffers. Be it the challenge of devoting time to both, or the jealously of a spouse over a time-consuming job or professional success, it just doesn't seem to work out at the same times.

I have a job that requires devotion, time and focus. I have given it that over the last seven years. I think my plan for now is to continue focusing on it, until I meet the right person and switch gears.

One positive thing has come out of the internal turmoil of the last few weeks, I know that I am capable of wanting to be with one person. Now I just need to meet him and be proactive about it.

previous next