I love this entry that Frogs wrote about us. I forgot about us staying in NYC when we were 11 or 12. Now that she wrote about it, I can vividly remember walking the streets of NYC and trying to memorize every single thing. I remember starting this pattern that I adapted later in life, when I fall in love with a city, I stare at the sidewalk as I walk and force the image of that pavement - which is never the same in any city - into my mind and force myself to remember it forever. Sometimes when I am melancholy, I let my mind drift back to those cities and take me there, and I walk down those favorite streets over and over.

I remember being awed with NYC as a pre-teen. I also remember swearing to myself, as unbelievable as it was to me at the time, that I would make it there. Like the song. One day, I would be adult and fabulous and living here and the streets would be mine not from memory, but from doing. And here I am. So maybe I have achieved a goal. Maybe I have.

But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about men. Men are what's driving me crazy lately.

Men are strange creatures. If they can't figure out whether they want to fuck you or befriend you they can cock block you from other men. Or they can compete with you and toy with you.

I am dealing with a lot of undecided men right now. They are working me over, luckily, I appreciate the challenge.

Normally, after a night like tonight, I would be pissed off. However, I am dealing with unique men of their species: Challenges.

In particular, I have idenitified a severe competer. He's trying to force my card and he's using unnecessary tactics. He's using tactics I will not conform to. Tonight, he was subjected to undesirable actions on behalf of my guy friends and admittedly, he was a great sport. I even commended him on that and apologized.

At the end of the day, he challenged me with a trial of his own prowess. I'm not about that and I will never respond to that. I did the right thing, and I walked away. I am psyched about that, although I wish I had done it without showing hesitation.

My feeling about interpersonal relationships is that you set the tone for how you want to be treated. I want to be treated like a lady. I want respect and freedom, and I behave in a like fashion.

Tonight was an excellent test of that.

Now, in the end, this person could be interested in aothing more than friendship, and I completely respect that. If that is spelled out, it would be difficult, but I would just walk away. It's my nature.

My gut feeling is that it's not that. There's something else here, but the other person is too lost with growing up to be brave enough to realize what's in reach and step up to the plate.

My other instinct is that he's going to come around. We both have a lot of work to do and a lot of growing up to finish if this the way it should be finished. I'm up to the challenge. I guess we'll find out soon if his timing is on par.

No harm, no foul.

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