9:05 p.m. | 2003-05-27


So I'm walking around 86th and 3rd tonight and browse the street vendors. There's the usual assortment of knock off handbags, sunglasses, wallets, socks, belts and books. Wedged in between all of this is a pimped out older, black guy with cards on top of an old milk crate.

At first glance, I think it might be card tricks, so I stop and take a look. I'm a sucker for a street magician. But when I look closer, I see he's not doing any tricks with the cards, he's selling these decks. They are terrorist trading cards.

Now, I've heard about these terrorist trading cards but truthfully, I thought it was a clever PR stunt. Something the military would offer to trainees like flash cards; a type of hooked-on-phonics for special opps, right? Nope. Suddenly it dawned on me, people in buttfuck Florida and other places that don't even register on terrorist maps would be buying this shit. And the government earns another nickel.

Brilliant, really, when you think about it. I need a pack to show people, no one's going to believe this.

So stop and ask the guy, how much for a deck? "Six bucks," he tells me. "No way," I say and start to walk. "Hold up, hold up" he says..."How much you want to pay?" "Three bucks," I answer. "Five bucks," he throws back.

"Five Bucks!?" I exclaim. "A deck of cards is 50 cents!"

"Where you find a deck of cards for fitty cent?!?"

"Anywhere across the continental US!" I retort and I start to walk again.

As I walk away, I hear him muttering to my back, "you cain' buy no deck cards for fitty cent..."

Six dollar terrorist trading cards on the streets of New York City. More than price of the galleon of gas we fought them for. Yet worth it to see Osama with a heart, if only on paper.

Leave up to a New Yorker to make lemons out of lemonade.

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