I had a few bad days last week, thinking about September 11, 2001. There's increased coverage of the survivors' in Stairway B because of the Oliver Stone film that's out and the History Channel kept replaying their piece on the real survivors. The piece was well done - those survivors are amazing, remarkable people and I am happy that they are alive.

I watched this piece with morbid fascination, night after night. I became obsessed with it. Piecing together where these people were versus where each of my friends were located. Listening to the descriptions of the heat and the collapse and letting my mind wander to more accurately imagine the atrocities inside the buildings that day.

And then I listened to the 911 calls online.

It was just too much. I sat down for a moment and wept. For those I knew and those I didn't.

People shouldn't have died like that. And those tapes should not be released. It's so private, those last spoken words. The incredible resilience of those emergency operators who literally accompanied those people through terror, panic, pain and suffering and then finally, into death. I know that people have suffered atrocious deaths since the beginning of time, but I don't think it's necessary in this day and age. Are we not civilized people?

I don't understand this war. Not the one declared on the Western world nor the ones we are fighting abroad. I don't understand the devaluation of life that terrorists maintain - willingly sacrificing the lives of children and loved ones or themselves. I want to understand. I'm listening. I'm inquiring about muslim religious beliefs to understand their mindset, their motivations.

This war we are fighting is all wrong. It's not the right strategy. You can't fight a culture's religious indoctrination. Religious beliefs are inculcated into people over decades, centuries. The western world needs to stop talking and start listening. Really listen. And then propose solutions that are mutually beneficial. I feel like this can be done but it means not acting American. It's not our way or the highway anymore. This is a global economy. America needs to acknowledge the coming of age of other countries and economies. It doesn't mean giving up power. It can make it us stronger in the world's view.

I don't want be at war for the rest of my lifetime. I don't want to worry about my safety going to work (beyond accidents) or riding a bus or traveling and I don't want my future children to have to go to war.

I don't want anyone else to die for jihad or retribution to it.

Haven't enough people died yet? Enough already. Enough from everyone.

One thing I'll be hoping for on the fifth anniversary of Sept. 11th is for people of many faiths, countries and cultures to stop for a moment, step away from religious indoctrination and think about what life could be like living at peace with each other.

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