I have a case of giggles today.

My job is making me delirious.

Anyway, I forgot about something funny that happened this weekend. First, you'll need some background.

I come from a very gregarious line of party people. If you're shy, there's not a chance you are going to get a word in. Everyone's yelling over the next person and trying to get the last word.

Growing up, every couple of years we'd get our family picture taken. We had a routine. Before the photo shoot, we all argued about who looked the best - each of us nominating ourselves. When the photo arrived, we clamored to check it out, examining our imperfections and pointing out a siblings or parents. Inevitably, out of each person's mouth, you'd hear, "Damn, I Look Goooooooodddddd." Or, "I really am the best looking in the family."

Whenever I announced that I was the best looking in the family, I mean literally since gradeschool, everyone would shout "But your nose is crooked!"

They clamored to check out my very first driver's license photo, and they all said my nose was crooked.

Same goes for my first passport photo.

And then came senior year of high school - the portrait. "Wow, you look great," they said, "but, it's too bad he can't airbrush your nose so it's straight."

I interpreted these comments as mere jealousy from my lesser beautiful family members. Nobody else had ever noticed that my nose was crooked, ergo, it could not be!

Two years ago, I'm bombed in my local bar and we are all dancing around. I make my way to the bar to order another drink. It must have been hear 4 AM. There's a older woman slumped at the bar, and she turned her aged face to mine and grabs my chin. She whips my face toward her and moves her face inches from mine, her beady, watery eyes focus on my face and she says, "I'm an artist, ya'know? I would like to paint you."

She moves my face, leading with my chin, to check my profile and she brings me back to face her. Before I can even utter a word, she snorts, "...but your nose is CROOKED!" and with a wave of her hand, drops my chin and returns to her drink.

Needless to say, my family found this incredibly amusing.

Cut to this weekend. My friend's Dad asked me if I remembered their friend with a beard that I may have met at their party in June. I couldn't remember. Anyway, this guy's an artist and was looking at photos from the party and saw me standing behind my friend's Dad while he cut the cake. The guy points me and asked who I was. My friend's Dad told him and he said,"Oh, her face has beautiful lines and shape." I said, that's such a nice compliment.

So I turn to my Dad and snidely say, "Oh, that's interesting, did you hear that Dad???"

And my Dad says, without batting an eye, "Did he notice that your nose is crooked?"

Nice.

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