This morning, dog tired, in the gym at 6:30AM, watching TV. Watching CNN, I see footage of Clinton with Arafat at Camp David. I'm dog tired, because no partygirl should be up or working out at 6:30 AM, but they appear to be horsing around. They don't even speak the same language but both of them are cracking up at each other, laughing so hard they are nearly toppling over onto the threshold of the house and their translators are pushing them back into the house. It's a 2 second image, and I'm sure that many people have interpreted it in diferent ways, but the first thing that came to my mind? "Are they doing whippets?"

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Yesterday, C. and I had a genius idea. After I spent two hours shopping for an outfit this weekend for the annual Night in Venice Party, I came back to work and decided I really wasn't overly happy with my purchases. Nothing was rockstarrie-enough. That's when we realized: I need to go back to my old signature style of 70's-style T-shirts! However, we need to step it up. So we need to take my t-shirts and RHINESTONE them!!!!!!!!!

Oh yes, that's right. We have been searching for a rhinestone machine. Would you believe that no one in NYC sells them??? HELLO? This is the fashion capitol of the world? Where ARE the rhinestone machines (said in Jerry Seinfeld voice)? And then we heard about this thing called the BEDAZZELER, which is apparently the Red Rider of rhinestone machines and we COVET it, but we cannot find this legendary machine?!?!? So we may have to order this one imitator from california, overnight delivery.

Our plan is that I'm going to get a package of Hanes Wifebeaters and rhinestone them. I want mine to say BADASS. Or THE REAL SLIM SHADY. C. thought it should say "FUCK ME," but I felt the need to remind him that this party is in America's Favorite Family Resort. I'm trying to keep some semblence of tact.

I told C. that his should say "FAGGOT" OR "HOMO" - because that is so, very, TUFF. Anyway, we've decided we are going to sell these very tuff shirts in SOHO or the Village and make a million dollars. Because they will be so tres, tres.

Then D. was chiming in - she wants us to rhinestone her jeans. So we were thinking how very fabulous it would be to take a really dark denim pair and apply RED rhinestones in a square on the knees - like knee pads. Everybody would be sweatin' those jeans.

People, the rhinestone machine's going to revoutionize our lives. Forget those beaded barrettes I've been making, forget my painted furniture, rhinestoning is my future!

And I have one more rhinestone idea that is so totally wild, it's sure to be a hit. But I'm not giving it out to you sucka MC's. You'll just have to wait it out. Sweat it like Scott Weiland driving past Betty Ford.

I just downloaded Radiohead covering "Rhinestone Cowboy."

Lick it up baby, LICK-IT-UP.

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