As always, Gingi is the voice of reason. It really is remarkable, how she does that. Just as I was spouting off about how I can't take it anymore and I'm tired and overwhelmed, she broke it down. "You know what, you're not going to want to hear this, but you need to take yourself out of the loop and have some anti-social time." As simple as that. I started sputtering on the phone, "But I�have to meet so and so tonight and then this person tomorrow and then there's the reading on Thursday which is a conflict because I told R. I would sleep over at his place because he feels I've been neglecting him and then I have a birthday party on Friday and then Saturday is St. Patrick's Day - and well, you know that's a high holy day for my family�" and Gingi said, "You don't want to hear it, but you need to just tell those people you can't make it, and go HOME."

"Oh, and by the way...what IS going on for St. Patrick's Day??" she asked me.

She's genius, that Gingi and her voice of reason. So I cancelled on A., explaining that I've overdid it everynight for the last month and had to bail last night and he was concerned. He's decided I need an intervention. He's coming over to my work today at lunchtime.

So I went to bed last night at 6:30PM. And I still had to drag myself out of bed this morning.

*~*

Here's something strange. I find myself�attracted�to�the homeless man outside my office. Hear me out. He's HOT. I think he's newly homeless because he's not really full-tilt grimy. He kinda looks like he just got off tour or something. He looks like Jesus. You know those stereotypical pictures of Jesus? That's what he looks like. And when I go outside, he stares at me with these startling blue eyes. I mean intense, clear blue eyes. It freaked me out at first, but now I am used to it. He stares at me and he doesn't speak to me. He asks me for nothing. He just stares. I am intrigued.

Meanwhile, a week or so ago, I was outside of my apartment building (in the ghetto where I live) and I saw these two old women giving money and cigarettes to this other homeless guy. He was about my age and obviously a dope fiend. He was junked up - he could barely keep his head up. The police were parked next to the curb watching the exchange - I guess to make sure he didn't hurt the women. His back was to the cruiser so he had no idea he was being watched. So I walk out onto the street as all of this is going down. (I felt very SuperFly, without being a pimp or drug dealer) and I see this guy and I think, "it's X" - the last guy I hung out with. So I start circling the guy and women, so as not to disturb what's going on, but to get a better look.

I am so not subtle. I think the only one who didn't recognize what I was doing was the doped up guy. Anyway, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I realized he was NOT the guy I had dated, and I walked away. As I walked away, I thought to myself, "Self, it's not a good thing if someone you dated COULD feasibly be a junked up street fiend. Perhaps, you need to think about evolving your taste in men."

Perhaps, it's about that time.

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