In my life, we ponder the process of doping, debate the thinking 50+ years ago behind the Allies awarding the land that is now Israel to the Jews, use terms like Race Profiling and Race Elimination in theories of the inside thinking of Muslims, specifically, The Taliban.

We speak of Daniel Pearl, a man we never knew in life but know better in death. There are many Daniel Pearl's now, aren't there?

We read Teen People for respite. Laughing and pointing at silly pop star get-ups and moronic quotes. An escape.

My friend's first wedding anniversary is in a couple of weeks. They will never celebrate their anniversary. We quietly acknowledge that. It lays in the back of all of our minds. Quietly. Staunch in its position, it is there, indeliably tattooed on our subconscious.

We remark with wonder and happiness on the young love shared by two Canadian Gold Medal skaters. They are joyful. We remember joyful. As we were not so long ago, when the world was our oyster and the possibilities were endless.

The world should be joyful. We soak in these times in our apartment, in my life. We cheer for a kicker from a dark horse team who won a Superbowl and the hearts of America.

We share tears for young girls with nothing to lose who come from the back and steal competitions and gold.

We watch with one eye, the other shut to hide in anticipation of something terrible to happen again. We don't even realize that we are doing it, this watching with one eye.

We don't see it but we recognize the one eye in conversations, carefully mocking hostage situations at colleges by prefacing comments by, "I'm only saying this because I know this is going to work out okay."

We go out and we party and we talk. Rooms of people frantically talking to other people like a giant tweaking room. Anything to keep the others engaged, to keep their minds from wondering...

We're forgetful; we're late. No one cares.

We're moving on. We're searching for something better, something new. Like an addict, we push to find something return our high - our joy.

These are all observations of our landscape.

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