Life Lessons: Part II

1) Heroin is not a recreational drug.

1a) Once a heroin addict, always a heroin addict. (Not to depress any recovering heroin addicts out there! There's light at the end of the tunnel! I swear!)

2) Starbucks is modern day communism. But those frappucino's ARE TASTY, aren't they?!? I think there's heroin in them.

3) Guns are not cool. So don't carry them.

3a) There's no future in shooting up your school or people you don't like. Proving yourself is a better tactic.

4) There's always going to be someone prettier/hotter, richer, cooler and more famous than you. Remember that when you start thinking you're the bomb.

5) Liquor b4 beer, never fear; beer b4 liquor, never sicker.

6) Everybody's got problems. And lots of people have problem's bigger than yours.

7) People who commit suicide are COWARDS. Don't feel bad for them. Feel bad for the people left to SURVIVE them.

8) Even if you think you can do it, don't dye your hair yourself, go to a professional.

8a) Your roommate/best friend, doesn't count as a "professional," unless the category is "Fuck Up."

9) Use condoms during sex. Always.

9a) You have alternatives to dealing with pregnancy. You do not have alternatives when facing HIV or AIDS. Remember that.

10) Don't drive though piles of leaves. There could be a kid hiding in there. (Dude, that really freaks me out!)

11) Don't sniff shoe polish. That stuff can really F you up.

12) Don't swallow Light Bright pegs. They're not going to light up your stomach like they do when you push them into that little screen.

13) Learn a foreign language.

14) Pay your credit card bill on time. Learn from me.

15) Don't live with someone b4 getting marriage. It always end in disaster.

15a)And if you do, don't buy everything together. It's hell to split up.

16) It's okay to pee in the Ocean.

17) If you fall in quickstand, just float on your back. It's when you move around that you allow yourself to be sucked under.

18) If chased by an alligator, run in zig zags.

19) Don't buy into teeny bopper music. You're going to be really embarrassed later in life.

20) Look both ways b4 crossing the street.

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