Last night at happy hour, we were sitting in a oval. I sat at one of the heads of the oval. At one point, myfriendjen's married co-worker, whom I had just met, turned to me and said, "What about you, have you met The Guy?"

Suddenly, it seemed like everyone in the circle stopped talking and turned to hear what I was going to say.

"No," I said, with a slow smile. "It's never 'The Guy' for me. It's a guy or that guy, but it's never been The Guy." Everyone started to chime in. MyfriendJen said, "It's time for you to meet The Guy. This is the year of The Guy." Gingi seconded it, "Yes, it's the year of The Guy, Partygirl."

"I think I may meet The Guy this year," I responded.

"Is this a resolution then, Partygirl?" Gingi asked.

"No. I refuse to resolve to find The Guy. That's a dangerous resolution and one I've made before. This is not resolve, it's simply an acknowledgment."

I function on gut feelings, which is probably an immature way to act rather than using reason and logic. However, my instinct hasn't wronged me yet. It has helped me choose good friends and good jobs and make good moves.

Over the last year, my instincts haven't been as strong, so I haven't been following them. They've been less black and white, more gray. If it doesn't feel exactly right, I haven't acted. That's going to change.

Because I'm used to being able to quickly make decisions and always be in control of situations, the bigger aspects of life, like love, have been difficult for me to nail down. It's completely a control issue, I see that now, in my 29th year.

I felt this week, for no reason whatsoever, that this is my year. Not a calendar year, but the next 12 months are mine to change my life into whomever I am going to be. It's a big intangible thing on my hands, this concept of evolving into someone else, with someone else.

I'm not sure how I feel about that, if I am excited or afraid or unsteady? I'm not sure. I just feel like this is the year when everything is going to change, and I am trying to prepare myself for that emotionally, physically and spiritually.

How's that for saying everything and yet nothing?

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