Love. Is all around me. I can feel it. It's wafting by and it's permeating the air and as it floats under my nose and over my lips, it tugs at my head, turning me and urging me to follow it. I'm not sure where this is going to lead this time but I'm going to have to follow it. My senses are heightened and I see friends falling in love and it makes me smile, it makes me happy for them. It's the love buzz and everyone's catching it. I don't think reading Tom Robbins is helping curb this attitude either.

I just can't stop this happy feeling. Ick, isn't that gross? Even worse, wasn't that a Partridge Family song? But I can't be bothered worrying about it. My eye is hardly twitching at all anyone, even at work.

And here's the thing. I'm even thinking about guys who aren't drug addicts, recovering drug addicts or musicians. How can this be? I know, it's bizarre. I'm having happy thoughts about average guys. With average jobs. Guys that maybe ::GASP:: maybe even wear suits. Reliable guys. Maybe someone I could depend on....weird, I know. This is all weird. But I am thinking maybe it could be fun to be with someone stable. Reliable. Like maybe I don't need fun. I'm fun. I'm enough fun for the two of us. I don't need to FIND fun. That I have. I need to find STABLE. This is what I'm thinking. However, I am NOT thinking like settling down or anything freakish like that. Oh no. Just someone to depend on. Like maybe a Plan B: Don't have to spend all my time with this person but maybe when I really fuck up and spend all my money or do something stupid, I would have someone to go to who would figure everything out for me. Maybe someone who thinks it's *charming* that I spent all of my rent on a weekend bender because I have some funny stories to show for it and he would never be so crazy. Yes, that's what I need. Somone who thinks this crazy life is fun to be a part of, fun to hear about and can help sort out my messes. Not someone who initiates the craziness. The last thing I need is to be encouraged. Also not someone who doesn't enjoy the craziness, like that stupid 1C guy who told me that I "am really a silly girl" when I tried to explain why three police officers escorted me out of the building that night before for throwing water balloons into traffic. Which, for the record, we weren't throwing at cars anyway. It's just that stupid J. hit that cop walking the beat. Boy were they pissed off. Christ, and then he let them in the apt. And the water and the balloons were everywhere. There was nothing for me to do but take the blame and get the cops out of the apt. ASAP. Someone had to take the blame. Actually, I feel 1C was a little suspicious when he saw J. taken out with me. Oh, and then T. was brought out. But honestly, that's some good clean fun! And if he couldn't laugh at that, God knows what he would have done in some of the other instances.

So maybe a average guy wouldn't be so bad after all?

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