I had a nightmare last night and when I woke up, sitting straight up in my bed, I had this sick feeling that my dream was actually something that had happened to me years ago.

But I wasn't sure because I guess I just put it out of my mind immediately after it happened. So I called a friend (well call her Z.) who was with me in this dream and I asked her if she remembered and she said, no, she didn't and asked me if I was sure I hadn't just dreamed it. But the more I think about it today, I am remembering more and more and I know that it happened.

So I called my best friend and I asked her if she remembered. She said, yes, she remembered. Yes, it did happen. She remembered all of us being brought back to campus and running into our dorm screaming and crying and hysterical. Except for me, who, while upset, was the only able to tell the complete story.

And this is both the story, and the dream. As I remember it.

We were at this local dive bar in town where we went to school and we were Freshman. We were drunk as skunks - I want to say it was someone's birthday (maybe mine?) and someone couldn't even stand, and that might have been me, so she was being held up by one of the others. Someone decided we were all going to hitch a ride from these 2 clean cut, preppy guys. Everyone piles in, except I didn't want to get in and was the last one drunkenly standing on the sidewalk when one of the guys grapped my arm and pushed me into the car against my will. I remember yelling "I'm not going!" as he slammed the door shut and locked it.

Z. was in the front seat in between the 2 guys and we all started to get the feeling that something was not right soon into the ride. I remember them touching her inappropriately, and I remember the driver reaching back and groping each of us. At one point I remember pulling a tennis racket out from under the car seat and hitting his arm with it. Z. played her card well and I can remember her politely asking to call her BF, because he was expecting her and she didn't want him to worry as he "always did, and then send the police out looking for here." They let her call him on the car phone, and she spoke in code - using non-existant names and trying to send him a message that we were in trouble.

But he didn't get it.

These guys drove us to a deserted house - I don't even think it was in the town were we into college but a town or 2 over and I remember being really scared as the car ride stretched longer and longer. I remember seeing less houses and more woods and not having any idea where we were. I remember thinking that of a plan and turning to the girls and whispering to the girls, "when they stop, wait until everyone gets out and run as fast you can and scream "fire"" I had heard that you should yell fire, instead of rape or help because bystanders would be more willing to help.

Everyone but Z., who was in the front, and the person who was in the way back, knew the plan.

Finally, they pulled up into the driveway of this dark house hidden in trees and they ordered us to get out of the car and into the house, helping us out 1 by 1. Everyone stepped out as planned and when I got out there were still 1 or 2 girls to get out behind me and I couldn't wait for them to get out, I freaked out because I saw the guys pushing the other girls to get into the house and I ran without waiting. I jumped out of the car and ran like a demon, yelling as loud as possible, screaming "Fire!!!!"

I remember all of us running down the middle of this deserted street screaming "Fire!!!!"...I remember reaching these brightly lit houses, and all us banging on neighbors doors, running from house to house, screaming and crying for help and no one would open up....no one would help us so we kept running...until we stumbled upon a taxi at a stop sign and jumped in....

I remember in the taxi, everyone was crying and trying to tell the story and I remember (at least in my dream) feeling remarkably calm. Just taking a deep breath and probably making a silent pack with God, like I always do when I get out of situations like this. I probably owe God like 40 children by now (j/k).

So I just e-mailed a friend I haven't spoken with in years, and reiterated the dream and asked, "That really happened, didn't it? And you were there, weren't you?"

Because I have to know.

An e-mail came back from her. She confirmed. It wasn't a dream.

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