I am playing Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work" on repeat. I can't decide if it's the lyrics or the music, but that's exactly how I feel. Something is not. right.

I can't explain it. There's nothing in particular wrong...but I feel...wrong. There's something...lurking. Call it intuition.

*~*

Here's one thing I do know: I'm in no mood to go clubbing. That's it, plain and simple.

I just want to go to a non-crowded place, where I can sit down and drink some beer out of a bottle and have a few smokes.

Crucify me.

My week has been crazy. I've already explained. And I am flying out of town this weekend and through next week to go on tour with a client. The last thing I feel like doing is being a rockstar tonight.

"I know you have a little life in you yet"

In my defense (because I know I am the Partygirl and really should go) I've been the clubbing girl. I used to have a wallet bulging with VIP cards to every club in this town. I've never waited in line and I've never not had free drink tickets.

Additionally, to club in proper form, you really have to get geared up. I would need to pull together a ghetto-chic runway look that would in some way involve vinyl. I would need to spend some serious time on my hair, which is no longer funky but merely Charlie's Angel-ed out, sculpting and making it really badass. And then, there's the make-up. Club make-up is really an art and it depends on where you are going and the theme of the night. I really would have to sit down and sketch out a specific make-up look.

"I know you have a lot of strength left"

I also need serious drugs to even think about walking into a club. And since I'm not doing serious drugs for the time being, that's not going to work.

The other problem is, I don't know this place. Which can mean 1 or 2 things: 1) It's not cool; 2) I'm out of the loop.

I prefer to believe #1. Because #2, would just break me.

"I should be crying but I just can't let it show"

So to sum this all up, I do not want to go dancing nor clubbing. But I do want to see *the girls*.

I will probably go.

But that's not all; there's something else. Something more. Something dreadfully wrong is going to happen. I can feel it. In my bones.

"Oh, darling, make it go away...Just make it go away now"

SOS

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