10:18 p.m. | 2001-11-09


I spent my Friday night at a two hour Funeral with more than 2500 attendees, how 'bout you?

I guess for the rest of the country and world, September 11, 2001 is a date in history. For me it is the date that my world changed forever. These days and weeks and months since then have been time spent in between saying good-bye and laying friends to rest. Tonight, I laid my last friend to rest.

I thought it wouldn't hurt so much, having already said good-bye to so many, but I was surprised to find that wasn't the case. It does hurt and it doesn't matter if it was someone you spent every weekend with or another that you could count on to see at specific gatherings.

Each one was a part of my life and each one was taken too early. Someone tonight said, "I thought I would have 30, 40 or 50 years before I had to do this for him..." We should have. They should have had those years and we should have them with them.

My friends name was Sean. When he walked into a bar his brother would scream (pron.) "Shawwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!" from the opposite end of the bar. I heard that today in my head at work. I hope I can hear it forever, because it's a reminder of how much good people can spread among others, how a person can live a life spreading joy among family and among friends.

I learned tonight that when his father died and he was 18, a college friend recommended that he pack more to stay home through the rest of the semester and the holidays. He confidently said no, telling him, "I'll take care of my mother and my family, but I'm not going to stop living my life and I won't allow them to do so either." Every day for him was a prize, something to cherish and make the most of and that's something he spoke because he learned at such a young age, that your life can change in a minute and someone you love can be taken from you.

Everytime he saw me he would flash his million dollar grin, say something inappropriate and give me a big kiss. He and his brothers and sisters were thick as thieves. I always envied that, having a big close family but now I am thankful that they have each other, because a bright light, or what his uncle the priest called a channel of peace, has returned to God.

He and his brother did me a favor once, and put my underage cousin L. up on their bar to pour shots in college boys mouths as Frogs and I laughed and she had the time of her life. I remember them saying to me, when I asked them if she could to do it, "Of course she can! She's family!" And we *were* family to them. They embraced us.

I guess the parallels between Sean and my friend's husband are so striking that when I think of one I automatically think of the other, although I don't think the two guys ever met.

At the start of the funeral, bagpipers marched in, the organ thundered, and more than 2,000 mourners sang this:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me....

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...

my heart to fear.

And Grace, my fears relieved.

How precious did that Grace appear...

the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...

we have already come.

T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...

and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...

His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be...

as long as life endures.

When we've been here a thousand years...

bright shining as the sun.

We've no less days to sing God's praise...

then when we've first begun.

I've heard this at each service I've attended. Each time, it's touching. But what struck me most deeply, in that hymn this time, were the words, "Through many dangers, toils and snares...we have already come. T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...and Grace will lead us home."

The priest suggested that he imagined God was surprised to find so many people on his doorstep on Sept. 11th, taken by men doing evil in the name of religion. And it is not the first time evil has been caused by religion, and we, catholics, are not innocent in that history of taking lives in the name of God either. But like those other times, he imagined God to have been surprised by what was caused by a choice made with the Free Will that he gave us.

I hope, that if God was surprised to see my friends before their time, that he was pleasantly surprised, and that he has welcomed them to their eternal home.

I hope to see them again one day and I promise to never forget a single one of the men I lost.

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