I had another entry up that I thought explained things. I thought I should show you where I am in my life; where I am headed. I thought for the first time in my life I was owning up to poorly thought out actions. That I tried to do right.

Sometimes, when you are dealing with people, it takes more than trying to do right by a person.

Sometimes e-mail doesn't come across like you mean it to sound.

Look at all us. Readers. Look at yourself. You're sitting there reading this shit on your computer. You sit in a perverse cage, staring at the screen that imprisons you, LOOK AT IT. Feel the restraint. Because no matter how good the technology is, you can never scale that wall, you can never do the impossible - you can never transcend to a higher plane of interpersonal communication than the interpersonal contact that happens when you stand in front of a person and show pain and regret.

We can't do the impossible on online. So what's the point of trying?

Look at what I've done.

Hate me like he does. I should be hated. I deserve this.

He hates me too now. He was right about me. He said I destroy men, but he should have said I destroy anything that comes into my path. I am destruction.

Slowly, I am destroying myself. Stay away from me.

Back away. Nobody else needs to get hurt in this mess.

I'm sorry.

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